Apatsa Rose
BASED IN UK
A young black Afro-British female trying to navigate adulthood.
A Love Letter
Black girl
You’re so beautiful!
And in no way do I mean this from the part of me that’s gay
I’m talking about pure unadulterated appreciation for melanin popping skin that glows like no
other.
The shine of your lips
The curve of your hips
The different shapes of your thick thighs
Saving lives,
Your behind got niggas high
My oh my,
Those breasts
Make Elijah’s valley of dead bones come alive
It’s not just about your body in the variety of shapes and sizes.
And it’s not merely the myriad of gorgeous faces
Your soul and your spirit
Deep and true
Reminds you of the goddess that lies within
Oshun
Queen of water, purity, fertility, love, and sensuality
You tell Sango when to come and go!
Baby, you’re in full control
You’re smart
Creative
Hard working
Not basic
This leaves you memorable
Unforgettable
Unique to the lives you touch.
Though not everybody sees you,
We
The ones that matter
Certainly, do.
Don’t get me wrong
You have your own problems
Ones I needn’t mention
Because this is about appreciation
All I’m trying to say,
Like I do when I slither into DM’s
Is that ‘I see you’
The most beautiful beings alive,
Black women
You glow
You grow!
Anti.
This fight has been happening for centuries.
The fight to be equal
Equally free
Equally paid
Equally perceived
Equally likely to stay alive.
The police have been crushing the bones and skulls of victims for years
Shooting the bodies of our peers
Then being promoted after this,
Whilst the testimonies of the dead
Fall on deaf ears.
The courts have ignored
Industries have soared
Churches have adored Jesus…but not the ones he came to save
Society has scored
On the backs of those who roared
And never stopped shouting.
But you
The worst of all
The one who makes up these institutions
Individuals
Beings
Humankind
Have bathed in apathy
Have laid in passivity
Have sprayed the cologne of accidie
So why now have you joined the fight?
Has lockdown given you a reason to think of others
Outside of yourself?
Outside of your circle?
Outside of anything that affects your existence?
Why is it that now
You have seen the light?
Who can blame you?
It’s in our nature…
Well done though
Clap for yourself
Honestly, go-ahead!
Congratulations for getting up and out of your complacent bed!
Splendid job
For climbing of
out the pit of
torpor
And posting a
picture on the trendy
bandwagon of “#blackouttuesday” because
Everybody’s doing it, so
why not you?
Take 2 minutes out of your
day to show you’re down with the culture
When this has never even crossed your mind!
It’s something I struggle to get behind
Because there’ll never be true equality
If mindsets stay sleeping
So why did it take George Floyd to make you see that there’s a problem?
Why now?
This is for all those who died at the hands of brutal force just for the colour of
their skin, including George Floyd…
Black Man
“ Black men aren’t taught self-love
They’re taught respect ”
– Anonymous
Respect your Mama
Don’t get disrespected by your woman
Or any other nigga
For that matter.
Black women were taught to stand on their own
Be their whole grown self
Develop their own kind of wealth through the richness of their culture,
Yet
Black men
The Vulture
The aggressor
The one who put their guard up and dare let someone climb in
To see their soft beating heart
Blood flowing gently,
Like a piece of art.
You let society spell out with brutal clarity
That you’re nothing but a worthless
Replaceable
Human Being
And it’s seen by the way you act out
With your belligerent tone
And a blunt in your mouth
You’re born and you die before seeing the light
Before realising you’re in this world for a bigger fight than
Black, gun, gang culture
“We do it for the culture”
Maybe that’s what gives you purpose
The drive to peacefully co-exist with those who practise and preach
Self-love.
I wish I could take his pain away
Your pain
Let it subside for another day
And wake up to see
You’re more than what you’re perceived to be
You’re loved for more than your aesthetics or good loving
But for that inner soul that gives a glimpse of the heavens above
Black man, it’s all about love
Of yourself.
Dear Women of Colour...
Dear Colour,
It took a while for me to notice you
Though I would stand in a room with a sea of individuals with faces that looked nothing like mine
They were always kind
Hence I was always blind to you
Until year two.
When I came in with a little fro and lo and behold I was…
different.
My nose was
wider, My lips
were larger, My hair was
coarser
And I never knew until she pointed it out at school.
Running to the bathroom with
tears streaming down my face, then all I
wanted was my mother.
Looking in the mirror
I contemplated her abrasive statements
Was she right?
Did I look just
like
poo?
Was I ugly for being different?
Was I still that sweet, precious girl that my family said I was or was I now
Disposable?
Being the only non-white child in school had never been so apparent until this pivotal moment
Suddenly,
I saw you.
You brought with you a divide,
A fight with self to discover the wealth that my colour brought
To find the light we hold inside
To manipulate perceptions, yet stay true to who I am
I can’t say much good has come from knowing you
But I’m aware
And though I’m not sure how to deal with you yet
I still walk on. I still stand strong.
To Colour, I say Hello…
Dear Woman,
Did God curse just you
Or he cursed man too?
Though sometimes you are seen as less than
You’ve been shown that you still can
Be the queen of the home
Of the road
Of the show
Though we speak of girl power
Is it a myth that really exists
Or do we aim to empower one another?
Woman, he says to you
Mother, Sister, Girlfriend, Wife
At times these terms connote strife
From the time the period arrives
Expectation is created,
Though you knew not
Because you were silently elated.
Long nails
Tight curls
Rouged lips
Thick hips
Shaved legs
Full edges
Are supposedly what make you, you.
Yet to you there is no structure
Too varied, intricate and positively complex to categorise
Men are mesmerised by your diversity.
Dear woman, to you I say
When in doubt
Question a world without your touch.
Dear Women of Colour,
We salute you
We salute that you tore your enemies in two
Because some of us in your shoes
Wouldn’t be able to do the things you do
Downtrodden by society
Their men, our men
The beauty of your boldness always stand strong
In a world where sometimes it’s hard to belong
Dear woman of colour
This appears to be wrong
Oprah, Archie,
Michelle, Mum
When you stop to think of what you’ve become
An inspiration, a ray of sun
Though you are of colour
Though you are a woman
Though anyone who beholds you can clearly see this
May you not be purely defined by the beauty of your physique
Or subject to pre-conceived ideas about who and what you should be
May your spirit be seen
Your heart keen
To illuminate generations to come along
Show us that we can do,
Be, Anything.
That one day, we won’t have to work thrice as hard to get where we need to
And will only depend on our man if we want to
Break free from any chains that will ever seek to bind you
Mental rains should fail to surround you
Fear cease to drown you
Dear women of colour, bright as day
I proudly say,
You are the future.
Mixed Race
I’m a mixed race
Mix of races
Mix of faces, voices, places
Racist can be my inner being
But how can I exterminate this
When the world is live in makes me hate it?
Brown is my body, Black is my hair
Yet I get to pick the colour of my underwear
White is my accent and the way I choose to accentuate my look
Causing confusion
Illusion
I’m cruising in the land of in between
Yet, I’m a lean mean money making machine!
Wanna ask me where I get my green?
Assume it’s from fraud?
Or stealing your nans purse as she waddles through the door?
And naah I ain’t a whore
Just all about my hustle
Ask Mr Muscle
And he’ll give you insight
Into how sleeping at night
Became a slight fright
Knowing that at 6am
My alarm would ring bright and early
I’d throw on my wig which is curly
And go earn the big bucks
Monday to Friday
Then Saturday to Sunday I’d finally get to chill.
It’s real
I love indie and soul
Trap, pop, rock and roll
And like any mammal
I’m searching for home
A place that I know
One I can call my own
Like Adele, I deserve to have it
Where the people I’ve met are the wonders of my world
Wonder into my world
A chocolate and vanilla swirl
They try kill each other each day
Hoping the other will get taken away
But they continue to live inside me
Residing nicely
And without one
What I know of me will die
So I hold my head to the sky and say
I need
Both.
I am
Both.